Relationships: Relationship Building & Management

Six Solutions for Practically Perfect Parenting

Returning home loaded with bags of groceries, Suzanne winced as she walked in and heard all three of her children quarreling at the top of their lungs. Suzanne, instantly angry, yelled, "Why can't you kids go one hour without fighting? You don't deserve what I do for you! Go to your rooms - NOW!"

As she set the groceries down, Suzanne knew she hadn't handled that well, but didn't know what to do about it, and wasn't in the mood to fix it anyway.

Parenting is tricky business. Even on our best days we wonder if we're "doing it right." After thirty years of parenting and counseling parents, I've discovered many valuable solutions for practically perfect parenting. Let's look at six of them. Of course we won't apply these solutions perfectly every time, but learning that there are parenting solutions, and knowing what they are, is certainly a first step toward success.

Read Paula's entire article Six Solutions for Practically Perfect Parenting

Paula Fellingham, our official Strengthening Women and Families Expert

How to Show Kindness in Your Home

"Kindness is the single most important ingredient in a happy home." This is the conclusion from a family study completed by researchers Dr. Ivan F. Beutler, Dr. Thomas R. Lee and Dr. Wesley R. Burr. Kindness is a key to individual happiness and to family peace. Dr. Albert Schweitzer, a well-known humanitarian once said, "Kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and hostility to evaporate."

As I have met with hundreds of families, spoken to numerous groups about family issues, and critically observed families for decades, I have come to know that kindness is indeed a foundational part for a happy home. Without kindness, the money and the time we give our families is meaningless. Where there is no kindness, all attempts at family success are useless.

Read Paula's entire article How to Show Kindness in Your Home

Paula Fellingham, our official Strengthening Women and Families Expert

Happiness is a Choice

I remember the moment it happened. I was listening intently as the seminar presenter quoted Eleanor Roosevelt when she said, "No one can make me feel inferior without my consent." Immediately the power of those words sunk deep into my heart and I thought, "That's wonderful! That means no one can make me angry unless I allow it. And no one can offend me without my permission! That means . . . happiness is a choice!"

I decided right then and there to make conscious choices about how I respond to others and to my circumstances. I resolved, in that moment, to refuse to be offended by anyone.

Within the hour my resolve was tested. The lecture came to a close and my cell phone rang. It was my oldest son explaining that one of our subcontractors had just walked off the job and our home construction would be delayed, again. My son reported that the contractor got a better job offer and just left.

Read Paula's entire article Happiness is a Choice

Paula Fellingham, our official Strengthening Women and Families Expert

How to Handle Curfews for Teenagers

Mom watched out the window - she was worried and angry. Eighteen year old Jared was late coming home, again. Just last week Mom had talked to Jared about his curfew, and she thought they had an understanding...midnight on weekends. It was 12:30 am, and he still wasn't home. Parent, when Jared does come home, what would you say to him?

When 18 year old Jared arrives home, after the agreed-upon curfew, parents need to be awake, and ready to discuss his disobedience kindly but firmly.

Since Mom was confused about whether there was a solid understanding of curfew time, that's the first order of business. Mom could say, "Jared, what it your understanding of the time you should be home?"

Read Paula's entire article How to Handle Curfews for Teenagers

Paula Fellingham, our official Strengthening Women and Families Expert

Amazing Baby Boomer Women

Do you know about one of the most amazing demographics alive today? They're the amazing Baby Boomer women -- born between 1945 and 1965. Currently, there are almost 50 million in America alone! Look at these incredible statistics:

One out of three Americans is now approaching midlife. According to the Wall Street Journal, every eight seconds someone in the United States turns fifty as the baby boom hits middle age.

More than 15 million women will have, or are already having, what they regard as a midlife crisis -- about equal to the entire populations of Colorado, Massachusetts, and Minnesota combined. (from Elaine Wethington, Expecting Stress: Americans and the ‘Midlife Crisis)

Read Paula's entire article Amazing Baby Boomer Women

Paula Fellingham, our official Strengthening Women and Families Expert

Women's Issues: What Does a Woman Celebrating Life Look Like?

Several years ago I created an organization called "Women Celebrating Life" to discuss women's issues and help women re-invigorate their lives. Today I'd like to ask the question, "What does a woman who celebrates her life look like?"

I believe she's like you and me -- trying her best to live a joyful, fulfilled life. Some days she's on top of the world, happily going through her day with a light heart.

Other days, days when her heart is hurt, she aches. Perhaps someone misunderstood her, or was unkind. Maybe she sees what she isn't and yearns to be more.

Read Paula's entire article Women's Issues: What Does a Woman Celebrating Life Look Like?

Paula Fellingham, our official Strengthening Women and Families Expert

Four Tips for a Blended Family

I often meet wonderful people at my seminars who ask excellent questions. Here's one of the questions, and four solutions I shared with Karen and Jim. "Do you have any tips to help us with our blended family?"

Here's the scene: For Karen it was the best of times, and the worst of times. She was newly married and loved Jim with all of her heart, yet he had two teenage daughters who were challenging, to say the least. Karen understood why the girls were insecure - after all they had been through - however they were so disobedient! As the new "Stepmom" it seemed she could do nothing right. The teenagers were always upset. What are some solutions for this new couple with new challenges?

Read Paula's entire article Four Tips for a Blended Family

Paula Fellingham, our official Strengthening Women and Families Expert

Returning home loaded with bags of groceries, Suzanne winced as she walked in and heard all three of her children quarreling at the top of their lungs. Suzanne, instantly angry, yelled, "Why can't you kids go one hour without fighting? You don't deserve what I do for you! Go to your rooms - NOW!"

As she set the groceries down, Suzanne knew she hadn't handled that well, but didn't know what to do about it, and wasn't in the mood to fix it anyway.

Parenting is tricky business. Even on our best days we wonder if we're "doing it right."

Read Paula's entire article Six Solutions for Practically Perfect Parenting

Paula Fellingham, our official Strengthening Women and Families Expert

Four Parenting Principles to Create Strong, Loving Families

I love helping young parents learn the principles that will help them create strong, loving families. I'd like to share four of these with you:

1. Kindness: Kind thoughts, kind words, kind tone of voice, and kind actions should be family goals. Mother Teresa said, "Spread love and kindness wherever you go. First of all in your own home. Show kindness to your husband or wife, to your children, to a next-door neighbor. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier." Frequent expressions of love, appreciation and admiration are heard in the homes of families raising kind, confident children.

Read Paula's entire article Four Parenting Principles to Create Strong, Loving Families

Paula Fellingham, our official Strengthening Women and Families Expert

How to Show Kindness in Your Home

"Kindness is the single most important ingredient in a happy home." This is the conclusion from a family study completed by researchers Dr. Ivan F. Beutler, Dr. Thomas R. Lee and Dr. Wesley R. Burr. Kindness is a key to individual happiness and to family peace. Dr. Albert Schweitzer, a well-known humanitarian once said, "Kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and hostility to evaporate."

As I have met with hundreds of families, spoken to numerous groups about family issues, and critically observed families for decades, I have come to know that kindness is indeed a foundational part for a happy home. Without kindness, the money and the time we give our families is meaningless. Where there is no kindness, all attempts at family success are useless.

Read Paula's entire article How to Show Kindness in Your Home

Paula Fellingham, our official Strengthening Women and Families Expert