Relationships: Relationship Building & Management

Four Tips to Help Blended Family Problems

Paula Fellingham, our official Strenghthening Women and Families Expert

I often meet wonderful people at my seminars who ask excellent questions. Here's one of the questions, and four solutions I shared with Karen and Jim. "Do you have any tips to help us with our blended family?"

Here's the scene: For Karen it was the best of times, and the worst of times. She was newly married and loved Jim with all of her heart, yet he had two teenage daughters who were challenging, to say the least. Karen understood why the girls were insecure - after all they had been through - however they were so disobedient! As the new "Stepmom" it seemed she could do nothing right. The teenagers were always upset. What are some solutions for this new couple with new challenges?

Here are four solutions to help make their family life better:

1. Karen needs to share her concerns with Jim, her new husband and the girls' father. He needs to be actively involved in the problem-solving process.

2. United, Karen and Jim need to sit down with his daughters and calmly discuss the joys and the challenges of blending two families.

3. They need to all agree on family rules, consequences for disobedience to the rules, and then set goals for improvement. As a new family they are now a team.... and they need to discuss working together to achieve family goals.

Read Paula's entire article Four Tips for a Blended Family

Friendship on Fire: Not Just A Good Marriage

An excerpt from Dr. Linda Miles, our official Marriage & Family Therapist Expert, new book Friendship on Fire.

What is a friendship on fire?

It is a compassionate and sensual bond that lasts because you find your soul's true home with your partner. The friendship offers safety, and the fire provides the sparks. In a friendship on fire union, partners are advocates and protectors of the other and they share life-giving sparks of energy.

Robert Johnson observed that when we fall in love it is an initiation into spiritual forces much greater than ourselves. Friendship on fire is sustained by divine forces beyond our own egos. Those with this kind of lasting connection share the knowledge that love is what matters in life and make this a priority through gestures, facial expressions, touch, tone of voice; they are vigilant about the delicate connection of their souls. They remember that they are so much more than their egos.

Read Linda's entire article Friendship on Fire: More than Just a Good Marriage

Legal Domestic Abuse - The Rape of Women by Their Divorce Lawyers

Dr. Jeanne King, our official Abusive Relationships Expert

Affluent battered mothers and divorce attorneys are a receipt for rape in the rawest form--legal abuse in domestic violence divorce. Now this doesn't mean that divorce lawyers are rapists or that domestic abuse victims are an accident waiting to happen. What it means is that the dynamics between these two groups of people are ripe for a classic rape. Here's why...

Battered Women and Divorce

Battered women are both empowered and vulnerable on the threshold of divorce court. They experience the exhilaration of being out from under their perpetrator's control, at least in the home. You can actually feel the burden of oppression lifted from their spirit at the prospect of their sweeping the eggshells from the kitchen floor.

They walk in the world with this new-found relief as they open to experiencing themselves in a new way beyond the grip of their abusive relationship. The optimism, innocence and habits of victimization that they bring with them sets them up for their next controlling relationship--the one with their divorce lawyer.

Read Jeanne's entire article Legal Domestic Abuse - The Rape of Affluent Battered Women by Their Divorce Lawyers

For a More Powerful Presentation Use These Body Language Tips

Kirk Duncan, our Body Language Expert, shares 3 keys to powerful presentations - Presentation do's and don't's. Learn how to connect with your audience.

 

Watch more of Kirk's videos.

Parents, Need Help Handling Teenagers' Curfews?

Paula Fellingham, our official Strengthening Women and Families Expert

Mom watched out the window - she was worried and angry. Eighteen year old Jared was late coming home, again. Just last week Mom had talked to Jared about his curfew, and she thought they had an understanding...midnight on weekends. It was 12:30 am, and he still wasn't home. Parent, when Jared does come home, what would you say to him?

When 18 year old Jared arrives home, after the agreed-upon curfew, parents need to be awake, and ready to discuss his disobedience kindly but firmly.

Since Mom was confused about whether there was a solid understanding of curfew time, that's the first order of business. Mom could say, "Jared, what it your understanding of the time you should be home?"

Read Paula's entire article How to Handle Curfews for Teenagers

How to Cope with Anxiety: Happiness Needs a Spark

Dr Linda Miles, our official Marriage & Family Therapist Expert

An excerpt from Dr. Linda Miles book Frienship on Fire.

"Do not seek perfection in a changing world. Instead perfect your love." --Master Sengstan

Charlotte, a fifty-year-old housewife recovering from anxiety, described how good it felt to get a big whiff of the grass in her yard. Like many people who experience anxiety or panic, Charlotte could not enjoy the world around her. She often focused on fearful thoughts, which made things seem worse than they really were. She needed to learn hot cope with anxiety.

QUIET THE BEEHIVE IN YOUR HEAD
Small problems became huge and out of proportion to reality. The day when a small thing, like enjoying the smell of fresh cut grass, made the world real, she felt happy. Charlotte had begun to learn how to quiet the beehive in her head and live in the present. She became aware that she had stopped smelling the grass as a teenager when she had her first bout with anxiety. Charlotte's life changed as she learned to become aware of her surroundings and live in the present moment, and began to appreciate the small things in her life. She began taking yoga, listening to calm music, and learning meditation.

Read Linda's entire article How to Cope with Anxiety: Happiness Starts with a Spark

Improve Your Relationship Moves: How to Avoid a Destructive Dance

Dr. Linda Miles, our official Marriage & Family Therapist Expert

If you and your partner are struck in a destructive dance, there are crucial steps you can take to create a positive and loving relationship. Both partners play a part in a destructive dance. It usually backfires to assign blame to your partner and ask friends and family to don a black robe and turn into judges. If each of you take responsibility for the part that you play you can stop blaming and start living.

In my work as a marriage and family therapist for over thirty five years, my best teachers have been my clients. When I see new couples in my practice, I give them the following guidelines based on past experience:

* Right-wrong games are counterproductive since no judge drops out of the sky to declare a winner.

* Be open to your partner's point of view and negotiate instead of acting like two opposing attorneys making their cases.

* If your goal is to be on the same team

Read Linda's entire article Positive and Loving Relationship Moves: How to Avoid a Destructive Dance

Free Body Language Show

Join Kirk Duncan, our official Body Language Expert, for a Free Live Body Language Show

March 8, 2012 – TWO Body Language Shows
9:00 am – 12:00 pm 
~ AND ~
6:00 pm – 9:00 pm 
Holiday Inn Express
4465 Century Drive 
Salt Lake City, UT 

Click here to learn more.

Signs that Can Save the Emotional Verbal Abuse Survivor

Dr. Jeanne King, our official Abusive Relationships Expert

Emotional verbal abuse can confuse and complicate an abusive relationship. See these signs for what they are before they spiral into physical abuse and before they spiral out of control. 

 

Watch more of Jeanne's videos

5 Romantic Ideas for Valentines and All Year Through

Marcia McClure, our official Romantic Novelist Expert

It's Valentine's again, my favorite time of the year! As a romance novelist, my readers often like to hear my suggestions for romantic ideas for nurturing their relationships. Here's five I've shared with my newsletter readers over the last few months.

Love letters! I love, love letters! I don't think anybody writes them enough any more! They're becoming a lost art! So...my romantic tip for Valentine's Day would be to find a moment, sit down and pen a heart-felt, honest, flattering love letter to your sweetheart! If you're sweetheart-less just now...then pen a love letter to a parent, sibling or good friend! Yep! I love, love letters for Valentine's Day!"

Spice it up with Graffiti! Pick up a cheap tube of red lipstick and draw hearts on your honey's car windows! Don't forget to write, "I love you," somewhere that won't impair their driving vision, too much! Messy? That's what glass cleaner is for!

Read Marcia's entire 5 Romantic Tips for Valentines and All Year Through