Relationships: Relationship Building & Management

Abusive Relationships - 6 Personal Questions that Show You the Signs of an Abusive Relationship

It's no secret that we see what we project. And when it comes to partner abuse, doing so can have repercussions for all of us.

Prior abuse in one's life can set the stage for misinterpretations of our adult partner's actions, intentions, feelings and relationship to us.

Now this doesn't mean that when one comes from some type of childhood abuse that perceived intimate partner abuse, or even "controlling" behavior, isn't real. As we also know there is a greater likelihood of prior childhood abuse (whether emotional, verbal, physical or sexual) for individuals in adult abusive relationships.

Read Dr. King's entire article Abusive Relationships - 6 Personal Questions that Show You the Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D., our official Abusive Relationships Expert

Reading Your Partners Mind

When Ann came to see me, she was in the process of counting how many times in the past year her husband had turned on the television when she wanted to talk to him—not that she had ever told him she wanted to talk. She left him oblivious to her upset, while her resentment built at his failure to magically “know” what was on her mind.

When we are young it seems as if our caretakers magically know when we need to eat and what they must do to take care of us. Children have a family romance in which their parents are always wise and good. This is extended to the whole world via the culture of children’s stories, in which wonderful things happen to the good guys and the bad guys get their due.

Read Dr. Miles' entire article Reading Your Partners Mind

Dr. Linda Miles, our official Marriage & Family Therapist Expert

How to Handle Curfews for Teenagers

Mom watched out the window - she was worried and angry. Eighteen year old Jared was late coming home, again. Just last week Mom had talked to Jared about his curfew, and she thought they had an understanding...midnight on weekends. It was 12:30 am, and he still wasn't home. Parent, when Jared does come home, what would you say to him?

When 18 year old Jared arrives home, after the agreed-upon curfew, parents need to be awake, and ready to discuss his disobedience kindly but firmly.

Read Paula's entire article How to Handle Curfews for Teenagers

Paula Fellingham, our official Strengthening Women and Families Expert

Abusive Relationship Signs - Unilateral Decision Making in Abusive Relationships

"When I tell you 'no,' you wear me down until I tell you 'yes.' And then I wonder what I'm doing with you, because deep down inside I know I'm not happy." Sound familiar?

Domestic violence survivors tell me that they frequently have no say in couple's decisions. Instead, they have a routine charade of "getting her consent" when the fact is what she really does is give up on holding her own.

One-Way Decisions in Abusive Relationships

The push-pull becomes so unpleasant that pursuing her wishes costs more in turmoil than not having her wishes fulfilled in the first place. She becomes practiced in the path of least resistance.

Read Dr. King's entire article Abusive Relationship Signs - Unilateral Decision Making in Abusive Relationships

Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.,  our official Abusive Relationships Expert