Relationships: Relationship Building & Management

Lasting Love: 8 Keys to a Lasting Love

My granddaughter, Merritt Miles, at five years old, was the inspiration for, 8 Keys to Lasting Love. While reading her a fairy tale I was very disturbed by what I was about to say to her when I read; "And they lived happily ever after." So, I took the liberty of changing the ending to, "They began the work of creating a very good marriage." I didn't want Merritt thinking, as so many of my clients had, that marriage was so simple, that it just magically happened and couples lived happily every after. As a marriage and family therapist for thirty years, I have seen the pain people experience after the honeymoon is over, when they awaken realizing they have married a mere mortal. I hope my granddaughter, as she enters adulthood, will avoid the pitfalls and pain of those who succumb to this "happily ever after" myth.

   1. Stop blaming. Start living. It is our responsibility, and not our partner's, to feel better and to heal. Our partner will be responsible to us, but not for us.

Read Dr. Miles' entire article Lasting Love: 8 Keys to a Lasting Love

Dr. Linda Miles, our official Marriage and Family Therapist Expert

Healing for Verbal and Emotional Abuse: 3 Secrets to Effective Affirmations

Affirmations, affirmations, affirmations. We've heard how important they are to the engineering of one's life. We've heard how essential they are to manifesting one's desires. Why do they work at times and fail to be realized at other times?

I believe it has more to do with how the affirmation is played in your mind's eye that causes it to work or not...that causes the thought to transform into action/creation or not.

If you are a domestic abuse survivor you will want to know this little secret about the proper way to use affirmations to regain your emotional well-being after an abusive relationship.

Read Dr. King's entire article Healing for Verbal and Emotional Abuse: 3 Secrets to Effective Affirmations

Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D., our official Abusive Relationships Expert

Friendship on Fire: More than Just a Good Marriage

What is a friendship on fire?

It is a compassionate and sensual bond that lasts because you find your soul's true home with your partner. The friendship offers safety, and the fire provides the sparks. In a friendship on fire union, partners are advocates and protectors of the other and they share life-giving sparks of energy.

Robert Johnson observed that when we fall in love it is an initiation into spiritual forces much greater than ourselves. Friendship on fire is sustained by divine forces beyond our own egos. Those with this kind of lasting connection share the knowledge that love is what matters in life and make this a priority through gestures, facial expressions, touch, tone of voice; they are vigilant about the delicate connection of their souls. They remember that they are so much more than their egos.

Read Dr. Miles' entire article Friendship on Fire: More than Just a Good Marriage

Dr. Linda Miles, our official Marriage & Family Therapist Expert

Domestic Violence Recovery - Fear Is a Choice and Has a Consequence

If you chose fear, then the object of your fear is scary. If you chose not to fear, the object is neutral. Fear is a choice.

And the choice you make will determine how you see the other person, thing or situation AND how you experience yourself relative to that person . . . how you experience yourself in that situation.

This simple little principle, as it relates to domestic violence survivors, can be easily seen through the analogy of public speaking.

We hear that public speaking is listed up there as the leading fear among most people.

Read Dr. King's entire article Domestic Violence Recovery - Fear Is a Choice and Has a Consequence

Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D., our official Abusive Relationships Expert

How to Cope with Anxiety: Happiness Starts with a Spark

"Do not seek perfection in a changing world. Instead perfect your love." --Master Sengstan

Charlotte, a fifty-year-old housewife recovering from anxiety, described how good it felt to get a big whiff of the grass in her yard. Like many people who experience anxiety or panic, Charlotte could not enjoy the world around her. She often focused on fearful thoughts, which made things seem worse than they really were. She needed to learn hot cope with anxiety.

QUIET THE BEEHIVE IN YOUR HEAD
Small problems became huge and out of proportion to reality.

Read Dr. Miles' entire article How to Cope with Anxiety: Happiness Starts with a Spark

Dr. Linda Miles, our official Marriage & Family Therapist Expert