Relationships: Relationship Building & Management

Healing from Emotional Abuse: Mind-Emotion-Body Connection in Healing for Emotional Abuse

The mind-emotion-body connection is something some of us take for granted, while others remain in awe. I do both.

Now here is a little psychological insight that will open doors for your recovery from psychological, mental and emotional abuse.

Go ahead and get your coffee or herbal tea because we're going to have another one of those psychological conversations.

Thought-Emotion-Physiology

When a little thought registers in our minds--when we intentionally or unconsciously think a thought--limbic system activation occurs. Now the limbic system is the emotional brain. It's the place in the brain where emotion registers.

Read Dr. King's entire article Healing from Emotional Abuse: Mind-Emotion-Body Connection in Healing for Emotional Abuse

Dr Jeanne King, Ph.D., our official Abusive Relationship Expert

Reading Your Partners Mind

When Ann came to see me, she was in the process of counting how many times in the past year her husband had turned on the television when she wanted to talk to him—not that she had ever told him she wanted to talk. She left him oblivious to her upset, while her resentment built at his failure to magically “know” what was on her mind.

When we are young it seems as if our caretakers magically know when we need to eat and what they must do to take care of us. Children have a family romance in which their parents are always wise and good. This is extended to the whole world via the culture of children’s stories, in which wonderful things happen to the good guys and the bad guys get their due.

The Prince comes. The slipper fits. They live happily ever after.

Read Dr. Miles' entire article Reading Your Partners Mind

Dr. Linda Miles, our official Marriage & Family Therapist Expert

Controlling Behavior - 6 Keys to Avoid Gaslighting Psychological Abuse

"Gaslighting" is a term we've heard to refer to mind-messing. That is, telling someone something that is untrue to be true. And then dancing in, over and around it until confusion sets in for the listener and anyone else that is an earshot away.

It's actually a form of mental and psychological abuse, because at its core is control. You see the gaslighter will keep the gaslighting game going until he/she wins. And winning is resurrecting your utter confusion and willingness to buy the fact that "the sky is indeed orange."

Get it? I know you do, especially if you have ever been exposed to or participated in this form of mental, emotional, psychological abuse.

Read Dr. King's entire article Controlling Behavior - 6 Keys to Avoid Gaslighting Psychological Abuse

Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D., our official Abusive Relationships Expert

The New Marriage - Part Four of Four

When we are children we do not yet have an identity. We learn about who we are through the mirroring that we get from our parents. It is called mirroring to describe the ability of good parents to gently hold up an imaginary mirror in front of the child until they learn to see themselves clearly without harsh judgments. If we do not get enough realistic mirroring during the years we live with them, we remain pretty clueless about who we really are.

I am always so pleased to see parents who appropriately mirror their children. By providing them feedback about their behavior without shame or blame, parents help children grow up with a realistic self-image and the ability to operate from a strong sense of self.

In my children’s book, Amanda Salamander, written with Martin Terrell, we tell the story of a beautiful young salamander who changes herself into the color of whomever she is with so that they will like her. This is quite characteristic of what we learn to do when we do not have a good picture of who we are. In the story, Amanda Salamander turns into the color of her husband so that he will like her. This brings many problems into their marriage, because she is not being true to herself.

Read Dr. Miles entire article The New Marriage - Part Four of Four

Dr. Linda Miles, our official Marriage & Family Therapist Expert