Relationships: Relationship Building & Management

Keeping a Relationship Journal

Keeping a relationship journal or diary for five years is an amazing, yet simple tool that supports and enhances you, your partner and your relationship. With your relationship journal, you both learn, and empower. Within the pages of your journal you will learn about yourself and your relationship. And you will begin to observe and recognize what you want to do differently, because it no longer works for you.

When you write your thoughts and experiences in a journal, you can actually see what you are thinking, putting your thoughts into a solid, tangible form. Patterns of thinking and doing, that we all have, are easily observed when recorded on paper. Creating a written record, over five years, helps to track and record life daily, writing about where we are, where we were and especially where we want to go. Journals are a proven, effective method for personal growth that help focus, clarify, and reduce stress.

Read Dr. Miles entire article Keeping a Relationship Journal

Dr. Linda Miles, our official Marriage & Family Therapist Expert

Healing from Emotional Abuse: The Memory Is in the Muscle

The memory is in the muscle. We hear people vividly taste remnants of the feelings surrounding old trauma when faced with a trigger of the context in which that original trauma was experienced. It's truly as though the memory is in the muscle.

We know this phenomenon to be characteristic of post-traumatic stress. What's unclear for many is how the emotional memory remains dormant in the psyche and in the tissue over months, years and decades.

It is as though all of the sensory neurons of the traumatized memory remain in tack. And once re-tasted, they carry much of the cognitive components associated with that feeling state.

Read Dr. King's entire article Healing from Emotional Abuse: The Memory Is in the Muscle

Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D., our official Abusive Relationships Expert

How to Show Kindness in Your Home

"Kindness is the single most important ingredient in a happy home." This is the conclusion from a family study completed by researchers Dr. Ivan F. Beutler, Dr. Thomas R. Lee and Dr. Wesley R. Burr. Kindness is a key to individual happiness and to family peace. Dr. Albert Schweitzer, a well-known humanitarian once said, "Kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust and hostility to evaporate."

As I have met with hundreds of families, spoken to numerous groups about family issues, and critically observed families for decades, I have come to know that kindness is indeed a foundational part for a happy home. Without kindness, the money and the time we give our families is meaningless. Where there is no kindness, all attempts at family success are useless.

Read Paula's entire article How to Show Kindness in Your Home

Paula Fellingham, our official Strengthening Women and Families Expert

Happiness is a Choice

I remember the moment it happened. I was listening intently as the seminar presenter quoted Eleanor Roosevelt when she said, "No one can make me feel inferior without my consent." Immediately the power of those words sunk deep into my heart and I thought, "That's wonderful! That means no one can make me angry unless I allow it. And no one can offend me without my permission! That means . . . happiness is a choice!"

I decided right then and there to make conscious choices about how I respond to others and to my circumstances. I resolved, in that moment, to refuse to be offended by anyone.

Within the hour my resolve was tested. The lecture came to a close and my cell phone rang. It was my oldest son explaining that one of our subcontractors had just walked off the job and our home construction would be delayed, again. My son reported that the contractor got a better job offer and just left.

Read Paula's entire article Happiness is a Choice

Paula Fellingham, our official Strengthening Women and Families Expert

After the Abusive Relationship - 7 Tips for Knowing You're Doing What Is Right for You

 Domestic violence survivors often wonder what next? Now, that I'm no longer defined by my role in my "other life," then what next... Who is this person? What is this person? What ought this person be doing with her life?

In some respects this pondering is typical of battered women. However, it's also true that women at large have similar thoughts when what was once their assumed identity no longer exists.

"So what's next?" they ask.

When there is something in your life that "the more you have it, the more it has you," that's what you need to be doing. That's what is next! Now some things that carry on in this fashion are good for you and the universe; and others are not. How do you know the difference?

Read Dr. King's entire article After the Abusive Relationship - 7 Tips for Knowing You're Doing What Is Right for You

Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D., our official Abusive Relationship Expert

Resourcefulness Opens Unlimited Doors

How often have you asked someone for a reference? How often has someone else asked you for a recommendation? Being resourceful and top of mind to others who recognize that you have the gift of giving is a valuable asset to have, especially in the business world. Call to mind individuals that are reliable and resourceful. Hopefully, others see you in that same positive light.

So, what are some of the specific ways you can be a "go to" person? What are some of the behaviors you can implement immediately to set you apart and to further enhance your credibility?

Read Bonnie's entire article Resourcefulness Opens Unlimited Doors

Bonnie Ross-Parker, our official Networking Expert

Flash in the Pan Disappoints

Beverly, twenty-two, grew up comparing herself to images of perfect, skinny models in fashion magazines. She wanted her hair, nails, figure, face, clothes, and shoes, to look as good as those on the cover of Vogue. She believed that she needed to look perfect to be seen as a foxy lady of her town.

FAUX FOXY

What was the real Beverly like? She wasn’t sure. She spent so much time and effort being a faux foxy lady that there was no time left to discover herself. She was afraid to wake up without makeup—to be the real deal; no pretenses, no masks, no false fronts.

PRINCE CHARMING MAY TURN INTO A TROLL

Read Dr. Miles' entire article Flash in the Pan Disappoints

Dr. Linda Miles, our official Marriage & Family Therapist Expert