Dr. Linda Miles, Our official Marriage & Family Therapist Expert says:
My granddaughter, Merritt Miles, at five years old, was the inspiration for, 8 Keys to Lasting Love. While reading her a fairy tale I was very disturbed by what I was about to say to her when I read; "And they lived happily ever after." So, I took the liberty of changing the ending to, "They began the work of creating a very good marriage." I didn't want Merritt thinking, as so many of my clients had, that marriage was so simple, that it just magically happened and couples lived happily every after.
Read Dr. Miles entire article Lasting Love: 8 Keys to a Lasting Love
Your tips are right on the mark, but not so easy to implement if you are getting something better by staying as you are.
Take holding on to anger. Of coure anger is a poison if kept in and not released. However it is also a weapon that makes people feel strong. When you feel helpless anger is a way of pumping up your sense of power and making you feel in charge. As a psychologist I observe how difficult it is to let go of anger -
1. It means giving up the right to feel victimized.
2. It means giving up the right to punish
3. It means having to forgive
4. It means allowing yourself to be vulnerable again.
Until you work on developing your sense of power and control, anger is the only weapon against what seems like a hostile world.
Learn to manage anger profitably at http://www.drjeanetteraymond.com
Check out how couples get caught in this trap at http://wwwcouplesspeakdecoded.blogspot.com/
and tips on managing hot buttons at
http://howtodealwhenyourbuttonsgetpushed.blogspot.com/
Posted by: Dr. Jeanette Raymond | February 26, 2009 at 02:52 PM