Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D, our official Abusive Relationships Expert
"Why do I believe what he has shouted at me over the years...even though a part of me knows it not to be true?" Men and women alike ask this question, again and again. Sound familiar to you?Imagine going about your day and all being relatively well. Then out of the blue your partner steps in and hits you with a verbal rant about how you are such____ and such____. And your being so is responsible for his/her disastrous predicament. It's all your fault!
Now here's the issue. This image happens routinely--weekly, monthly, year after year. What might this do to you or to anyone in these shoes?
Verbal Abuse Language, Belief and Feeling
Over time the piercing words work their way into your subconscious, and you hear them in the absence of your abusive partner. It's as though this little voice picks up where he/she left off, carrying on the negative tune. You hear it over and over again.
So, you experience the toxic message from the inside out and outside in. Yet, you know on a deeper level that this message is garbage. It simply is not true. From here you are torn as the cognitive dissidence soars.
Read Jeanne's entire article Why Do You Believe the Verbal Abuse In Marriage? - Cognitive Dissidence and The Verbal Attack