Dr. Linda Miles, our official Marriage & Family Therapist Expert
If you and your partner are struck in a destructive dance, there are crucial steps you can take to create a positive and loving relationship. Both partners play a part in a destructive dance. It usually backfires to assign blame to your partner and ask friends and family to don a black robe and turn into judges. If each of you take responsibility for the part that you play you can stop blaming and start living.
In my work as a marriage and family therapist for over thirty five years, my best teachers have been my clients. When I see new couples in my practice, I give them the following guidelines based on past experience:
* Right-wrong games are counterproductive since no judge drops out of the sky to declare a winner.
* Be open to your partner's point of view and negotiate instead of acting like two opposing attorneys making their cases.
* If your goal is to be on the same team
Read Linda's entire article Positive and Loving Relationship Moves: How to Avoid a Destructive Dance