"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow." ~Melodie Beattie
In the interview I conducted for the CreateAWOW podcast with wealth building expert, Brenda Cote', we touched on the importance of having an abundance mentality when working with others. Whenever we're trying to force ourselves onto others, we're basically operating from a scarcity mentality. We're saying that that person HAS to be in our life because there might not be another. When we operate from an abundance perspective, we realize there are "other fish in the sea"... whether we're talking about friendships, customers or romantic relationships.
The following is a short 2-3 minute clip from our conversation.
I spoke last night at Langston Charter Middle School in Greenville, SC about my 4th great grandmother, Dicey Langston - a Revolutionary War Heroine. The school is unique in that it helps develop leadership and service skills in its students. Each student is required to perform at least 10 hours of community service each quarter. The older grades require a little more.
I was able to meet some of the students, many of whom have already read "The Patriot Wore Petticoats." It's required reading at the school and it was such a thrill for me to have these little 12-14 year olds come up with their books in hand, ask me to sign their copy and say, "I loved your book. I've read it three times!"
They were the sweetest, best-behaved and intelligent group of middle-schoolers I've ever met. I was very impressed and I believe Dicey would be honored to know they are carrying on her legacy.
The following two videos are both parts of my remarks that evening.
April 30th is National Honesty Day. Honesty and integrity are dying virtues in today's society -- as readily evidenced on the nightly news or in the level of fraud on the Internet. We could all use a little more focus on honesty and April 30th is a reminder of it. In order to instill integrity in the rising generation, Sarah Newton, parenting teens expert, gave the following tips:
"Integrity is not an easy thing to teach our children; mainly because it is not something we have fully mastered ourselves. I think the most effective way we can teach integrity is to be role models for it. Ensure that our children know and understand what morals and principles we live by and why they are important to us. When they see us living in integrity they will follow suit.
Here are some tips for you:
1. Always keep your word - if you say you are going to do something then do it. Sticking to your word is one of the most powerful ways you can teach children to do the same.
2. Walk your talk – if you tell your teenager that being truthful is important, then walk your own talk and always tell the truth. If you go on about how important responsibility is, then always take responsibility for yourself and your own actions.
3. When your child is angry, sad, happy, or whatever, then question them a little more about why that is. Are they angry because someone has done something that they see as unjust? Is justice an important thing to them? Is that one of the morals they live by? If they are sad because someone has been dishonest, is honesty then important to them?
4. Have a family set of morals – sit down together and discuss as a family what morals and ethics you are going to live by as a team. What are you going to do if someone breaches one of them? (That means you too.) Will it just be a gentle reminder or something else?
5. Remind your child that they have a choice – in every situation they can choose and if they don’t like what is happening, support them to choose a different response that is more in line with who they are and who they want to be as a person." Learn more about Sarah Newton and her resources for parents at www.SarahNewton.com .
In honor of St. Patrick's day, I thought it would be fun to take a look at luck and where it comes from. Back in the early 90's one of my friends frequently observed, "You're so lucky. Everything just falls into place for you." I sort of resented her comment because my first thought was, "I do a lot of work to get this lucky!" Not that I resent working. I love my work. As Warren Beaty said, "You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play."
While loving what you do and working consistently over time at it can make you appear "lucky" there's a whole lot more to luck than that. There are lots of hard working people who aren't lucky with money, relationships or their health. For example, one wouldn't consider my financial challenges of the late 90's and early 2000 "lucky." Yet even those challenges brought me priceless information about the science of luck!
When I met Leslie Householder in 2000, she taught me her definition of luck. In "The Jackrabbit Factor Ecourse: Why You Can!" she says, "Forget about LUCK. Think of L.U.C.K. as Living Under Correct Knowledge. Live by law, and you are lucky. People will start to say about you, 'Everything just seems to come her way.' Or, 'He is always so lucky.' LUCK is Living Under Correct Knowledge."
People are unlucky because they lack correct knowledge. What kind of knowledge? An understanding of universal law!
There are 9 laws that, once you learn and understand them, will activate Leslie's definition of L.U.C.K. in your life. They all fall under the Law of the Harvest. I talk about them in depth in my book, "You're Here for a Reason: Discover and Live Your Purpose," as well as in my DVD program, "Faith Precedes the Miracle," but I'll outline them here:
There you have them ... the 9 laws of the harvest that comprise "The Science of Luck." Understand them, study them, and work in harmony with them; and soon people will be raving about how lucky you are.
Gratitude is a key ingredient to happiness. It is the antidote for pride. Have you ever seen a proud person who is grateful? I haven't! It's the catalyst for joy. It's pretty tough to be grateful and miserable at the same time, isn't it?
When we look around us, there is always something for which to be grateful. We don't even have to "own" anything to be grateful. We can be grateful for the clear blue sky on a winter's afternoon, or the sunlight streaming through the clouds. We can be grateful for the colors in a sunset or the blessing of a new day at sunrise. None of this costs us a dime. As we connect to God through gratitude, we connect to the Source of all that is good. Gratitude brings us in harmony with this Source and blessings naturally flow as a result.
I have found in my business that gratitude is critical. When I am grumpy or depressed, my business suffers. When I am grateful and looking for the good, things flow toward me. Michele PW our online marketing expert wrote a great article entitled, "Small Business Success - 3 Ways Gratitude Can Grow Your Business." In it she gives 3 tips for using gratitude to boost your business. Her first tip is: "Feelings are important. It’s not enough to just think about being grateful, you have to feel grateful as well. When you think about all the things you’re grateful for, really feel that gratitude throughout your body. Focus on it, and feel it radiate everywhere, from your fingers to your toes. Another tip is to imagine you have a dial in front of you, and when you turn up that dial you’re amplifying that emotion. It only takes a few moments to do, but the results are amazing. Try it and see if you don’t feel so much better afterwards." To read the full blog entry, go to 3 Ways Gratitude Can Grow Your Business.
Another aspect of gratitude that few people think about is being grateful for your obstacles! There are so many times in my life when I thought something was a horrible challenge, but in hindsight I see it as a precious blessing. My husband losing his job back in 1990 set me on a path to building my own business that now completely supports our family. My husband and I can both be home with our kids. Had we never gone through those initial hard years, we wouldn't be where we are today.
Had I not received severe criticism for one of my novels about 3 years ago, I wouldn't have sought out an editor. Had I not gotten the editor, I wouldn't have learned important writing rules that almost immediately opened publishing doors for me. I have learned to look at every customer complaint, every seemingly "negative" experience as a possibility for learning, growth and priceless treasures. I can't count how many web site innovations have come because a customer complained or had a question about something.
To learn more about this concept of being grateful for your challenges, read Leslie Householder's "Prosperity Disguised: My Favorite Rejection." . While you're at it, get your free electronic copy of Leslie's book, "The JackRabbit Factor:Why You Can!" Back in 2000-2001 Leslie mentored me in these principles and they totally transformed my life. Through the power of gratitude and other principles she teaches, one of the worst financial calamities to befall our family morphed into my greatest blessing... because it brought me this knowledge. Be sure to dig around on Leslie's site and learn all you can from her. I promise you won't be disappointed!
I'm starting a blog carnival on living an abundant life of prosperity, financial freedom and wealth. I'll be spotlighting exceptional blog entries that relate to these topics. Specifically our financial experts at IdeaMarketers and their blog posts will be featured. For example, a few of my favorite prosperity blogs this week are:
Leslie Householder's "Fall Forward into Prosperity." She explains a truth which has been one of my most important secrets to success. She writes, "Your prosperous ideas are so fragile. They are quiet, powerful packages containing unlimited opportunity.
A single opportunity, the smallest thought… the decision you make on what to do with the thought can either take you closer to your goal or leave you drifting further from it.
The idea pops into your head and can change your life, or it can be discarded, or rejected in a fraction of a second.
Each moment you exist is a moment of choice. The next time an idea pops into your head, care for it like a newborn. Protect it. Nourish it. Don’t reject it just because it doesn’t become an adult in a day." For the full blog, go here.
Brenda Cote, our wealth-building expert talked about a very common trap that I've fallen into myself when it comes to achieving success. She writes, "One day, I called four of them into my office to talk about their dwindling sales. I asked each of them to paint me a picture of their ideal life. Every detail offered related to the relief of their immediate hardships. When I asked what they would do after resolving their pressing financial matters, all they could muster were generic, detached descriptions of a future that was so far in the distance it didn’t even exist. I realized at that moment that I had invested my time, energy and emotions to support these hopeful sales people in their quest to get ahead without first inviting them to define what “getting ahead” meant for them. How would this [success] materialize, what would it bring them and when would they arrive? These were important questions no one asked. Their visions were clouded by the circumstances of their present existence. They could not see a way of living beyond their immediate moment. They had no clarity."
In her blog Do You Need to Have Your Eyes Checked, she gives 7 Ways to See More Clearly
When trying to point people back to the Constitution as a standard and "rule book" for government, the biggest argument I get from those who say they support the Constitution is that, as a country, we've gone too far. We've made too many mistakes and now returning to that "idealistic" way of governing our country is unrealistic. Sure, it sounds good in theory, they say, but it won't work in our complicated world. The Founders never imagined the complicated mess we'd be in.
I've pondered on this for the last few days and an analogy came to mind. Imagine with me for a moment a young woman who has been raised in a broken home, has never been taught correct principles, and has made lots of mistakes. Perhaps she's gotten involved with a meth-lab boyfriend, has contracted an incurable STD, and is pregnant out of wedlock. She drops out of high school, has the baby, marries the meth-lab boyfriend, who then abuses her and makes her life pure misery.
Now, wouldn't you say this woman's choices for the future are limited? She's in bondage to a bad situation, is she not? She doesn't have a high school diploma, her chances for college are nil. Even if she leaves her loser husband, she'll have to support and raise her child on her own. If she ever wants to remarry she'll have to tell her future husband about her STD.
Now, let's say you are a moral Christian and you come upon this young woman. She's broken-hearted, at the end of her rope, and humble enough to listen to you. Will you tell her all is lost? Will you tell her she'll never know happiness?
Or will you lift up a standard of the "ideal?" Will you teach her a standard of truth about God, families, forgiveness and redemption? Or will you tell her it's too late, so why bother?
I would hope you'd hold up a standard of truth to her and help her turn her life around through the atonement of Jesus Christ. Sure, she'll pay consequences for her previous choices. Yes, she'll have a hard road and prices to pay, but isn't redemption worth it? Isn't the happiness found on the other side of repentance immeasurably wonderful?
"And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" John 8:32.
And so, while others may laugh and scoff at me for holding up an ideal standard for the proper role of government found in the U.S. Constitution, I hope they'll remember other "hopeless causes" that have been solved by God's grace. If Christ can heal a lost soul, if he can heal the blind, the deaf, and the lame, he can heal a nation and set her back on that fine highway of constitutional government.
And so I conclude with the words of the late, great American patriot, Congressman Larry McDonald of Georgia:
"The complexity of social organization does not change. Our technologically sophisticated industrial society is more complex than the agrarian society of America in the eighteenth century. In this regard, that was "a simpler world." But the complexities of politics (politics here meaning the science of governing) do not change much. The basic political problems confronting the Framers of our Constitution were as complex as our political problems today -- perhaps more so, because they were striking off into the dangerous unknown, whereas all we need do is return to the fine highway we were once on." (Georgia U.S. Congressman, Lawrence Patton McDonald, We Hold These Truths, p. 13, ‘76 Press, 1976)
Learn more about returning to that fine highway at www.ProConstitution.com
". . . where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty." 2 Corinthians 3:17
If you were a referee at a basketball game, what would be the first thing you would need to know or do? How well could you judge the game if you were not familiar with the rule book? If you didn't know about the three-second rule or didn't know what constituted a foul, or didn't know how many free throw shots a person received when they were fouled, could you fairly referee the game?
And if you didn't know the rules, what might happen on the sidelines or in the bleachers as the fans became more and more incensed at your ineptitude? Would they rise up in anger against you? Would they walk out of the game?
What if they didn't know the rules either? What if everyone in the building was clueless about the rules of basketball – the players, the refs and the fans all had a different idea of how the rules should go. You'd end up with pure chaos, wouldn't you?
We live in an age of rampant information and disinformation. Anyone may put their ideas or opinions out on the internet as fact. Anyone may claim themselves to be an expert. Anyone may report "news" as if it is fact without any real checks or balances in place about proper reporting or verification of facts.
So how is one to know the truth? As Pilate asked Jesus, "What is truth?" (John 18:38). As everyone scrambles to find their next Presidential candidate for 2008, there is mudslinging, false news reports, attacks upon character and more. How is the average American to know "what is truth?" In essence, our nation is like a bunch of ball players, referees and fans who have forgotten the rule book. Because we don't know the rules of the game, we can't judge and we certainly can't proceed fairly.
And so I make a plea with my fellow Americans to return to the rule book - to make it an active part of your study. Read a little less news if you have to. Stop searching out negative information and disinformation on the internet and spend more time studying the rule book and educating others about that rule book. What is this rule book? If you haven't guessed yet, it's the Constitution of the United States of America. If you will make an honest study of it, you will find that much of what is advocated today by political ball players, fans and referees is simply a mad scramble for power and gain or at the very least just rules they made up. Most of it can't even be found in the rule book at all.
The Constitution of the United States of America has served us well for over 225 years – in spite of society's degeneracy, and in spite of it having been ignored, twisted and misinterpreted. Just think of what we could do if the "fans" of this country read the rule book! Would we allow power hungry refs and corrupt players to ruin the game? Of course we wouldn't! Would a crowd of fans at a basketball game – who were well acquainted with the rules – stand by and watch the referees and ballplayers ruin the game of basketball? Of course not!
Then why don't we Americans wake up to our own power to set things right. Begin a thorough study of the Constitution and invite your friends and family to do the same. Study The Federalist Papers
Once you understand the Constitution, it won't matter what the media says. It won't matter what disinformation or corruption is out there. You'll be able to review the voting records of politicians and easily see whether they know the rules or not. It will all become as plain as judging a basketball game.
Stop fighting against the dark shadows and sinister forces -- for whatever you resist persists. Instead, start fighting for truth and justice. Start fighting for the rule book – The Constitution of the United States of America.
Is your life not going as you'd like it to? Do you struggle in relationships? Do you feel like you're a magnet for ill will or bad circumstances? Did you know that you have more control over these aspects of your life than you think? The people around you don't even need to change for you to get better results. The only person who needs to change is you.
At the core of how other people treat you is how you feel about yourself. I'm talking about more than self-esteem, I'm talking about taking control of who you are. You may believe your mindset is too hard to change or that old habits are too hard to break, but if you're patient with yourself, it's really not as hard as you think.
The first step is the most important. Think of the foundation of a home. Everything else rises upon it. If you lay a sturdy foundation, you control the stability of a home. Similarly, if you lay the proper foundation for who you are, then your life falls into place as well.
How do you create this foundation for success, happiness, and harmonious relationships? You might think it will be difficult, but really it's quite simple. But if you skip this step, you could flounder your whole life.
Everything hinges on you getting clear about who you want to be and your core values. Once you get clear on WHO you want to be, write it down in a positive statement, and memorize that statement. This action alone will set in motion a chain of events that will draw to you all the knowledge, people, and events to make it happen. It doesn't matter how far you currently are from the ideal. That doesn't matter any more than not having roofing shingles matters when you're laying the foundation of a house.
Once you lay the foundation, the walls will go up and you will start to become the ideal person you envisioned on paper. As you become the ideal you, you change the way people perceive you, and thus the way they treat you. You start getting positive results instead of negative ones.
Sixteen years ago my life felt out of control, unbalanced and like I was going in a million directions – none of which were very effective. I took out some paper and a pen and jotted down 5 headings that represented different roles I filled in life:
Daughter of God
Wife
Mother
Friend
Business person
Then I wrote down the type of person I'd like to be in each aspect of my life: how I would act and be if I were the ideal wife, mother, friend, etc. Once I had these written, I looked for the commonalities between each area and created one consolidated mission statement for my life.
I wrote it as a positive present-tense statement . . . "I am a daughter of God who . . ."
After writing it down and polishing it, I set it to memory. I repeated it daily in the beginning, and compared my decisions against it. If something fit with my mission, I did it. If it was out of alignment with it, I didn’t do it.
But over time, I basically forgot about it. About four years passed and then in a conversation with a friend, I mentioned I had a mission statement. She wanted to hear it. As I quoted it from memory, I realized I had become the person described in the statement. Even she could see that I fit the description. As more years passed, I've pulled this mission statement to mind and each time I do, I marvel at this joyous journey that continues to mold and shape me into the person I envisioned 16 years ago.
Of all the things I could tell someone to do to make lasting effective changes in their life, this is probably the simplest and most powerful. If you haven't done this before, I challenge you to do so. Don't forget the all-important steps of writing it down and memorizing it. You need to know it like the back of your hand… and be able to call it to memory at any time. Make it a part of you and watch miracles occur.
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