The Power of Gratitude

El Pregreso, Honduras

Our son Caleb is serving as a missionary in El Progreso, Honduras (the San Pedro Sula Mission). He emailed his first pictures from Honduras today, and of course I'm totally excited to see them!

Here he is with his companion, Elder Johnson picking beans on their day off (aka Preparation Day - Mondays).

Here's one with several other missionaries in his zone - Caleb's on the left, then there's Elder Andersen, Elder Johnson, and Elder Noriega

30 Lessons I've Learned from Going for My Dream

I've had a dream for some time to speak to women about living their God-given destiny. In fact, the ultimate vision I hold in my head is me standing on a stage with tens of thousands of people gathered in an auditorium. That vision has been there for years – back when my children were little and leaving them wasn't an option.

I'm still not certain when, how or why that many people would gather around to hear what I have to say, but it's the vision in my head and it leads me on.  The thing about it, it's not some intense desire for fame or fortune. And if I never do it in life, it's not going to gravely disappoint me. It's just this "knowing" like someone gave me a flash forward picture of my future.

In December, I met with two dear friends in Zion National Park; and we spent a week, praying, meditating, and discussing the possibility of bringing women together and helping them discover their God-given missions and live them with courage, vision and fearlessness.

While there we caught the vision of something incredible, something beautiful. We saw what God can do with righteous women who love Him and who serve in their own unique ways, exactly where they stand. We left Southern Utah excited, hopeful and full of faith.

Little did we know that when we returned to put in motion what we'd seen in vision we'd be hit with a series of challenges that would make us question our vision and test our friendships, families, and faith.

Whether the challenges were the adversary seeking to thwart our plans or the chastisement of a loving God, I cannot fully say. Perhaps a combination, but what helped me endure them was seeing them in a different way. Rather than assuming we were doing something incredible and now had targets on our backs for Satan's archery practice, I decided to look at them as blessings.  What if each trial we endured was there to teach us something valuable that we needed to know? What if the challenges would shape us into the people we needed to be to effectively help these women come April 2010?

As I began looking at my challenges in this way, I found the gems within them. Once the spiritual lesson was learned, the trial resolved itself and moved onto the next one.

As I write this, we are less than four weeks away from our event, and I have felt the need to itemize the challenges – not dwelling on the details – but listing the lessons learned from them. As I did so, I realized that I've gained a lifetime of knowledge in a three-month period. It would take most people years to learn these kinds of lessons in a practical, experiential way.

Here are a few of them I learned (or re-learned): 

1. Get to the root of problems. You could spend weeks trying to treat the symptoms whereas fixing the root could take minutes.
2. When faced with a daunting challenge, avoid going straight into workaholic, production mode. Rather, step back and ask God for His perspective. Ask Him to help you get to the root.
3. Avoid the quick "please help me with this" kind of prayers and have a real conversation with God about your challenge and ask for something specific you should do. Many times the solutions to monumental challenges are incredibly simple. And God knows what they are! But if you don't take the time to consult with Him, it's harder for Him to tell you.
4. Sometimes sickness is a blessing to make you step back and look at things differently.
5. Communicate specifically. Don't assume other people understand what you're thinking or even trying to say.
6. Just because you have a hobby you love doesn't mean you should turn it into a business.
7. When you build a life around something that ends up making you miserable, don't shift the blame to the people who helped you along the way.
8. Never abdicate your responsibility to receive your own answers. Other people can be wise and spiritual and give excellent advice. But bottom line, you need to get your own answers. You will be tested later, and if you haven't gotten your own confirmation, doubt will be a monster that plagues you..
9. Everyone's human. Looking for the good in others is a wonderful thing, but don't put people on pedestals. No one is always following the Spirit. No one is always making the best choices. We're all human. It's unfair to expect perfection in others.
10. Some people are never going to apologize. Forgive them anyway.
11. Forgiveness has the power to erase the pain, the hurt and leave the lesson. God really can push the memory of a recent offense so far back in your mind that it feels 10 years ago and has lost its sting.
12. Never stick your head in the sand and hope problems will resolve themselves. Turn and face challenges head on, get to the root and get help quickly.
13. Be careful to never make other people feel that your path should be their path. Let them know they need to ask, seek, and know what's right for them.
14. What everyone else thinks is the "right" thing for you to be or do, could be the worst thing for you.
15. Gratitude is a hallmark of character.
16. A sign of spiritual maturity is that we celebrate, acknowledge and love each other for our unique gifts and perspectives. Celebrating and acknowledging you and what you've done in my life doesn't diminish me in any way.
17. The desires of our heart govern our outcomes, thus the importance of getting down to your core values, core passions and purpose. Be careful what you wish for!
18. Working harder can be a curse. When you think you have to fix everything yourself by working harder, you get in workhorse blinder mode and miss the obvious, little things that could simply and elegantly make things flow.
19. Just because people are around you and see your example of a principle doesn't mean they will understand or embrace that principle. They must desire to learn and be asking the right questions.
20. Putting on a façade takes a lot of energy and stress. Being authentic and willing to let people know you are human is a more energy-efficient and effective way to live. There's more joy, more peace, and more grace.
21. In the pursuit of your dream, some people will interpret the hard things you endure as evidence you shouldn't be doing what you are doing. Just because you face hardships doesn't mean God is telling you you're off track. Only you can know your integrity (remember Job).
22. The vision we receive of the future, rarely happens overnight.
23. When we ask God for a vision, He tends to show us as far ahead as we can safely see. It doesn't mean it will be delivered on the time table you think or want.
24. Never give up. Giving up means you'll have to start over.
25. Use your brain and be practical even in the face of a big vision.
26. Trust God's timing even when it looks like His timing is making your life difficult.
27. Stay focused on the positive.
28. Shift out of fear the moment it rears its ugly head.
29. Find ways to maintain the vision even when it looks impossible.
30. One of the greatest blessings you can have is friends who believe in and work alongside you in your vision. Thank God for them every single day! They may be the greatest miracle of all.

Through it all, I've come to remember that God never wastes the pain. The greatest treasures come from our trials. If you have a dream and you'd like the tools and support group to help you make it happen, please pray about joining us in April 2010. We'd love to have you!

I'm so grateful for the courage and vision of the women (and man) involved in the Light the World Retreat! You're awesome!

Why I'm totally psyched!

I was out driving this gorgeous morning, and I started thinking about how amazing our upcoming event in April is going to be.  Since the first time I heard Sheldon Pickering's music at a convention we both attended 6 years ago, I was hooked. He's been my favorite pianist ever since. I've written novels with his music as their soundtrack.

Yet it only struck me today (with all the hubbub of planning, preparing and promotion) that I get to spend 4 full days with my favorite pianist on the planet!

Not only that, but I'm spending it with my best friends in my favorite inspirational spot on Earth with the most incredible women coming to learn what we have to share. These women are ready to stop talking about "someday," stop making excuses, and start living their dreams!

I just love being with proactive women who want to make a positive impact in the world. So that's where I'll be come April 20th -- in my favorite spot with my favorite people doing what I enjoy most -- teaching others how to access God's help to live their God-given missions!

All of this has me incredibly excited, but I'm even more psyched about the impact these women are going to have on the world when they go forth from Zion National Park with their dreams birthed and well on their way! They're going to have the vision and the clarity to move forward fearlessly. They'll have the tools to help them through the rough spots along their journey, and the resources to make a positive impact that will ripple throughout their homes, families, friendships, communities and the world.

How excliting is that? Let's Light the World, ladies!

Your Focus Determines Your Reality

I was sitting on a log by the creek meditating this beautiful spring afternoon. The gentle breeze made the seventy degree temperature perfect. As I pondered on what felt like an insurmountable problem, I asked the Lord, "What do I need to do?"

The answer came with a gust of wind. It blew against me, colder and harder until I folded my arms and rubbed my hands against my bare arms. It felt down-right cold all of a sudden. "What kind of answer is this?" I wondered. Finally, I turned my back to the wind and faced the sunlight. Instantly I felt warmer. With the bright sunlight shining in my eyes, I felt hot within less than a minute. The wind still blew, but it didn't make me cold anymore.

As I turned to the light, I felt God's answer. "You don't need to DO anything. All you need is a shift in focus. Shift your focus to the light and the problem will solve itself."

"That's it?"

"Did you make the wind blow? Did you make the sun shine?"

"No," I answered.

"You don't need to make anything happen. You simply need to shift your attention away from your troubles toward the light, and they will solve themselves."

The question is, how does one shift her focus? Over the years, I've used many different methods. A walk across our property always shifts my focus because, for me, it represents my own personal miracle. That we even own it is miraculous. Every time I walk it, I feel an overwhelming sense of awe that it is ours.  I also feel very ungrateful that in the winter months I hole up in my toasty office like a mole and never get out to enjoy it.

But when the spring comes, and the daylilies bloom, I feel the siren call that beckons me outside, across the field and to the creek. There I feel more at home than anywhere else in the world. It's a piece of heaven on earth that shifts my heart to gratitude.

Other things that shift my focus to the light are positive affirmations, repeated whenever the cold breezes blow. Other things that lift my spirit and redirect my focus toward the light include:

• Reading scripture,
• praying/meditating,
• journaling,
• listening to inspiring music,
• reading journal entries from more enlightened days,
• making lists of what I'm grateful for,
• talking to a friend who believes in my dream, or
• giving my child a hug,

When life starts blowing its cold breezes your way, what shifts your focus to the light?  Is it possible that this shift is all that is truly necessary? That opportunities, blessings, and answers only come when we are facing their Source?

"Always remember, your focus determines your reality." (Qui-Gon to Anikan)

Why I Believe In Dreams

Someone gave me some flack the other day because I encourage Christians to follow their dreams.  The person felt I should just teach people to love God -- that when people follow dreams they aren't following God, they're putting something higher in their hearts than Him.  In many cases that is true. People get obsessed with their goals of acquiring things and spend years seeking riches instead of God. But God is looking at our lives on a broader canvas than we are. All we see is the here and now, but He sees eternity. He's taking each of us through a process tailored to us and our learning style -- all the while protecting our freedom of choice.

One of His favorite tutoring tools are dreams. Nine times out of ten, if a Christian follows the dream placed in her heart by God, she comes to know Him at a level she never could have before. Her life transforms, and she becomes completely connected to Christ.  That can happen even by pursuing very materialistic dreams. 

Let me tell you a little about my own journey; and why I believe dreams aren't just a good thing, but a God thing. In 1995, I dreamed of owning some property that would have plenty of acreage for animals and a garden. I wanted to rear our children in a house next door to my sister and her family. We wanted water on the property and for our homes to be close to civilization but not so close that there were neighbors on every side. We wanted the feel of country with the convenience of suburbia. A tall order, perhaps, but we got very clear on this and began to pray for God to lead us to this property.

In December 1996, we found that property and my sister's family and ours bought 24 acres bordering the Chickamauga Battlefield at auction. We didn't even have all the money for it at the time. But we paid down what we could. We had one week to come up with the rest. I was about $16,000 short! But a miracle happened and the money came.

There was no way we could deny that God helped us. What some would consider a materialistic goal happened with God's help. So many blessings have come from this move. Just as we'd hoped, our children grew up next door to their cousins and formed family bonds that will last forever. Because of the location, our children have gotten into less trouble than others, and our Church has been a big part of our lives.

The next dream I had was to be financially stable – to be able to provide for our family so that we could afford college and missions. I wanted not to simply survive, but thrive.  In time, the Lord helped me build a sustainable business that allowed both my husband and me to be home with our children when they needed us.

Again, what seemed like a very materialistic dream held spiritual blessings. Our children have reaped the benefits of having their parents handy for them. Because the Lord has blessed us financially, we're able to reach out and help others too.

Throughout the pursuit of both these dreams, I learned to trust the Lord and His timing. I learned that His ways aren't always our ways, but He does grant unto us according to the desires of our hearts (Proverbs 10:24). Every day, I grow to love Him more.

I've held other dreams over the years – to get a book published. I have 20 in print. In pursuing and acquiring dreams, I've learned a lot about myself and about God. Most of all, I've learned that the best dreams are the ones that aren't about us, but that reach out and bless others. Life isn't about acquiring things; it's about building a strong relationship with Jesus Christ and reaching out to serve His children. When we are in the service of our fellow beings we are only in the service of our God.

Jesus told His disciples to be "fishers of men."  The Savior is the greatest fisherman of all. Over the years He's taught me where to cast my nets to find the greatest catch – whether that be a material catch or a spiritual one. For with God, all things are spiritual. He's also taught me that the dreams He plants in my heart are His loving "bait" to draw me closer to Him.

It is only when we move our feet that the Spirit can continue to grant us wisdom and inspiration about what to do next. When we're sitting on the couch in front of the television, burying our dreams He has the hardest time reaching us. And, yes, it's true that when we're in the pursuit of "things" that we're not incredibly receptive either. But I've found God does one or more of the following when we're caught up in the pursuit of fame or fortune:

a) He lets us obtain them so we'll realize they aren't all they're cracked up to be – that in the end they never satisfy. One always needs more and more.
b) He allows us to be challenged in our health or relationships so we'll learn what truly matters.
c) He allows us to acquire the things we seek only with His help so we learn that He is the Source of all good things.

Each of us learns differently and in our own time and way. I've found that God is much more patient with me than I am with myself. He's also more patient with my family and friends than I am. I might look at someone and say they've leaned their ladder of success against the wrong wall. But He looks at them and says, "This is the way they need to learn it. When they get to the top and find an empty, lonely attic, they'll realize that life isn't about things."

Whatever the worthwhile dream, God can use it to bring you where you need to be. It's the lure on His fishing hook to bring you to Him! The beautiful thing is that as He brings you to a higher level of love for and trust in Him, your dream becomes a part of His big dream – to bring love, light, and eternal life to humanity. Each of us in our own unique way can be a small part of that.
 
So, don't squash your dreams. They are the seeds God plants within you. They set you in motion toward Him. As you continually submit yourself to His tutelage and nourish the dream, He transforms you into a pure, clear conduit of His love and light - radiating for good.

"I am come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly." (John 10:10)

5 Women Experts Come Together to Help YOU Succeed

According to the Center for Women's Business Research, 10.1 million firms are owed by women, employing 13 million people as of 2008. Women-owned firms account for 40% of all privately held firms. Yet, historically men have dominated the live business event arena. Not anymore. Five leading women entrepreneurs are hosting the Radiant Success Event www.RadiantSuccessEvent.com, May 20-23, 2010 in Raleigh, NC. Presenters for this first-of-its-kind event include Janis Pettit, Denise Wakeman, Kathleen Gage, Ellen Britt and myself. We will be sharing advice, strategies, tactics, and the mindset that helped us get where they are today.

A few years ago an invitation-only group of highly successful women entrepreneurs joined together to form a mastermind group. The goal was to share insights and business building strategies and to support each other's business growth. As it turned out, the combined knowledge and reach of this small group was impressive and vast.

Janis Pettit, the coordinator of the event explains, "We noticed there were few opportunities for small and solo business owners and entrepreneurs to learn the combination of the best business building, income generating and online and offline marketing and mindset strategies from experts at a live event.  And there were none presented by women.

We also knew the power of networking and interacting at a live event is more powerful than any other learning experience. Finally, it bothered us that so many business owners were stuck and needed real help ASAP! Since we shared a mission to help as many people succeed as possible, we decided to work together to create the Radiant Success Event."

Women entrepreneurs often have families and homes to care for in addition to their businesses. This results in a stressful juggling act with personal relationships, household responsibilities, and entrepreneurship. More than anyone, women entrepreneurs need a lifestyle business that produces revenue while they're handling life's priorities. Men will definitely benefit from the event, but we believe learning from our combined experience as women entrepreneurs will be a breath of fresh air for women seeking to build sustainable, lifestyle businesses.

Denise Wakeman of The Blog Squad adds, "The Radiant Success event promises to take you through the steps to plan, build and market your business. I'm excited about the speaker line up and the depth of content we'll be covering to support entrepreneurs at every stage of their business development. And nothing beats a live event for accelerating your progress through networking, conversations and opportunities to brainstorm your ideas."

You may listen to an audio of the super-informatinve preview call we held for the event at http://smallbusiness-bigresults.com/preview1.htm

For more details about the upcoming Radiant Success Event, go to http://www.RadiantSuccessEvent.com or contact Janis Pettit at 919-562-2280 or events@smallbusiness-bigresults.com .