Thoughts, ideas, and quotes on gratitude, including experiments with the principle of gratitude. Author, teacher and WOW creator, Marnie Pehrson, highlights truth & talent & helps talented professionals deliver their message to the online world.
Julie Coulter Bellon Author of romantic suspense fiction, also one of our editors at IdeaMarketers.
Kerry Blair Author of mystery romances with a good dose of humor. Book doctor and editor.
Leslie Householder Leslie teaches people how to think. She's my friend and mentor. Her site has free ebooks to help you achieve your dreams through right thinking.
Marcia Lynn McClure Author of historical fiction romance. Marcia's books have all the sizzle without the sin. :)
Mr. Personal Chef My husband's personal chef site - check out his delicious menu of entrees and desserts! Serving the Chattanooga, TN and Northwest Georgia area.
You've probably heard of books like The 4-Hour Work Week and The
E-Myth. They teach entrepreneurs how to delegate and liberate themselves
from the day-to-day operations of their business so they can do what they've
always dreamed of doing -- sit back and watch the revenues roll in. It's the
great American dream - right?
Here's something few people talk about ... when you get to that point, what
do you do with yourself? Sure, you think you'll travel, you'll see the world,
you'll take up golf or painting. And that's all great. But if you're a work-a-holic
who has finally been able to delegate the majority of the day-to-day tasks of
your business, there's a lot of junk that goes on in your head when shifting
from "doing" to "being."
For example, I took off the month of June, yep, I took it off. I worked in my garden,
spent time with my 6 kids, went on a family vacation. I think it's the most
amount of time I've spent outside work in 19 years. The only thing I did was
monitor emails and post a few fun updates to Facebook. Everything else in my
business is automated or delegated. It's a liberating place to be. And since Independence
Day is coming up in the US, I thought I'd chat a little with you about the
typical traps the independent entrepreneur tends to fall into.
1) We feel guilty. "I should be working. It's not right that
these revenues should flow in so easily with so little effort."
2) We feel fear. "Oh, no, what if I cut back on the time I spend
in my business and it all falls apart?"
3) We don't know what do with ourselves. "Hmmm... maybe I should
start a new project?" If work is all we know and are, we'll fall into the
trap of creating more work for ourselves instead of actually living and being.
As Ann Quindlen, an essayist and novelists said, "You cannot be really first-rate at your work if your work is all you are."
I don't claim to have all the answers. I'm in the midst of this, but a few
things that have helped me are the following:
a) Immerse yourself in a relaxing, yet productive hobby. In my case
it's gardening.
b) Take a vacation. Go somewhere you've always wanted to go.
c) Spend quality time with those you love.
d) Journal. Each morning after I work in my garden, I sit on my back
deck and journal whatever's on my mind. It's amazing how therapeutic journaling
is and how much more clearly I see the world. I've even used a few of my journal
entries in my blog.
e) Take action from a place of stillness. Contrary to what you'd think
from the title, my ecourse How
to Get More Done in a Day than Most People Accomplish in a Week isn't
about being a rat on a wheel. It's about delegation, automation, and operating
with focus and serenity. Had I not learned these principles, I'd probably be
filling this gap with a bunch of busy work instead of enjoying it thoroughly.
Those are my ideas. I'd love to hear from you. What are some of the typical
traps you've found and how have you sidestepped them?
It's been said we all must travel through Gethsemane. We all do things that
humble us and put the weight of sin and regret upon our backs. The problem is
that some of us stay in Gethsemane for far too long. We let it bring us lower
than the dust (which is actually a good thing if it humbles us to call upon
God). But there are dangers in Gethsemane. For some the darkness is so
overwhelming that they lose themselves -- they lose the vision of their divine
potential as children of God. They let Satan convince them that they are
worthless and can never be of use to God (or perhaps to anyone else). It takes
faith to believe that even God can help us rise from the depths of Gethsemane.
We must remember that there was only one person who survived Gethsemane, and even He had an angel
to strengthen Him (Luke 22:43). The Son of God traversed the darkness of each of
our Gethsemanes and came out with a clear and empathetic understanding of our insecurities and
trials -- "for surely he hath borne our griefs and carried our
sorrows" (Isaiah 53:4). The Son of God is the only one who could carry the
weight of sin for all mankind, bleed at every pore, and come out the other side
triumphant (Luke 22:44).
If we are to survive our own personal Gethsemanes we can not expect to do it
alone. We must let Him lift us. He is the only way to the other side. He
knows the murky terrain, for He is the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6).
Call upon Him and let Him lift you up!
(The sculpture above was created by Angela Johnson).
I've spent the last week digging in my garden and reading my favorite high school English teacher's old journals and poetry. Linda Hawkins died from the effects of a bone marrow transplant two years after my class graduated. She left behind a legacy that couldn't possibly be measured by human minds. Her students still talk about her hilarious personality (standing on her desk and squawking like a bird to bring a class to order) and her ability to inspire creativity in the young.
I would not be an author today had it not been for Linda Hawkins. She taught me to put my heart on the line when writing, but more importantly she taught me to trust my instincts. In the last week, I've learned even more from Mrs. Hawkins. As a resu1t, I've decided we spend the first 40 years of our lives discovering who we are and the time remaining either
a) bemoaning what we've done with our lives and letting it hold us hostage like rats on a wheel,
b. OR mustering the courage to be the magnificent individuals we were born to be.
Linda Hawkins was 44 when she died. I think her greatest regret was that she knew who she was, but had so little time to enjoy that blissful path. She was a teacher, a shaper of young minds, and a builder of destinies. She loved teaching, but she battled an illness that deprived her of it. If death is considered losing, then I suppose we're all losers in the end; but if living with grace and faith have anything to do with succeeding, then she was one of the most successful people I've ever known.
As I've read through her journals (one of which covered her 2-year battle), I've learned some important lessons:
Have the courage to be your best self and let God take care of the impact that is made as a result.
Look for the beauty and the good around you each and every day. Be thankful for it. Embrace it.
Keep a journal. It will help you deal with life, and it'll leave a priceless legacy for your posterity.
Finally, in Linda Hawkins' own words: "When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on."
So there's my challenge to you and to me . . . let's get off our rat wheels and be who we were born to be! Time is of the essence.
This is a great video about looking for God's hand in our lives each and every day and documenting what we see. This is a practice I'd like to start myself in order to increase my awareness and gratitude for God's blessings . . .
Watch Video. Will you join me? :)
Be You! Who you are at the core is beautiful, perfect, and divine. Let the "gunk" fall away and be the perfect you. In this video, Lisa Rae Preston and I discuss how being who you are will attract to you the right people who belong in your life . . . customers, friends, associates, etc.
I spent some time worshiping in my garden this morning. I call it "worshiping" because when I'm down on my knees and singing as I dig in the dirt, it feels more like worshiping than work. I put some Phillips, Craig and Dean on my ipod and sing to my Heavenly Father. I learn so many life lessons from gardening, and this morning was no exception.
Today I learned what peas have to teach me about parenting. About a month ago my daughter and I planted these peas that are doing very well, climbing up either side of a wire fence we positioned for them. But lots of grass and weeds are growing alongside them now. That's typical in the tropical Southeastern climate we have here in Georgia. We get lots of rain, which the plants love, but so do the weeds. My son ran the tiller between the rows, but he couldn't get close to the plants themselves. That required sitting in the dirt and picking my way along the fence, hand removing the weeds.
Before I draw the analogy to parenting, let me tell you a little about the types of weeds I found growing amidst my peas.
I found grass with shallow roots that were fairly easy to pluck. These were the easiest to remove.
There were clinging vines that wound their way around the pea stems and interwove into the fence alongside them. I had to cut these weeds down by the ground, sever them from their source, and leave them to die without risking damage to the pea by extricating them.
There were bunchy weeds with deep roots that required digging to remove. If these were too close to the peas, I couldn't dig, just had to tear off the tops. I'll have to keep a watchful eye on these, because I'm sure they will return and must be dealt with eventually.
Most dangerous were fibrous-rooted weeds that seemed fairly benign at the top, but whose roots intermingled with the peas' roots. Pulling these threatened the life of the pea if I did not remove them skillfully. I had to replant one pea after accidentally uprooting it. Hopefully, it will be all right.
If the weeds were far enough from the plants, I could dig them out with a spade, or run my gloved fingers into the earth and dislodge them. But those that were too close to the peas, I had to be very careful. It was best to remove my gloves and feel the weed to make sure I didn't accidentally get the pea too.Timing is everything when weeding. When the soil is moist from the morning dew, weeding is a lot easier.
You may be wondering what in the world this has to do with parenting. As a mother of six, I liken the pea plants to my children. We planted them in rich soil and placed a stable fence against which they could climb so they could reach their full potential. But the challenges and false ideals of the world are growing right there alongside them, sucking up their nutrients, overpowering them, and threatening to choke them. As much as I want my children not to be "of the world," they are "in it."
When our children were little, I didn't always know the difference between their unique personality and what was a "weed." I had to just nourish my family until there came a time I could distinguish the weed from the plant. When weeds become obvious, a good parent doesn't waste time. She gets in there and starts pulling out the weeds. But it's easy to get distracted by other duties and let time pass until weeds threaten your garden. I've been beating myself up a lot lately for doing just that.
You wake up one morning after a heavy rain and cry, "Oh my, where did all these weeds come from?" As Jesus said in one of his parables, "an enemy hath done this." The world is our enemy, and it's constantly planting weeds in our gardens. Even when we've planted a gospel fence for our children to climb, they need us to help them identify and pull weeds.
When the weeds are small, it's easier to just pluck them out roots and all, but sometimes they grow like a clinging vine, threatening to choke our children. We have to learn to say "No" and cut these activities off at their source. Other times, we may feel our child is doing fine, never knowing that a fibrous weed is choking his root system. We don't always know our child's thoughts; and thoughts are at the core of everything.
In the end, we have to get down in the dirt and hand-pick those weeds. We have to get our hands dirty and remove weeds with the care and feeling of a tender parent. It's a difficult, time-consuming, and tedious process – especially if we've allowed negative patterns to develop.
By the time our children are teens the world is often so interwoven into their root system (so tangled up in their lives) that we must tread carefully. Snipping a vine at its base and not trying to extricate it from the plant may be the safest maneuver. Other times we must gently remove a weed entangled in our child's root system. But there is always this balance between preserving the child and clearing the weeds.
As I was working, I noticed that I couldn't safely remove a weed on the other side of the fence. I had to go to the same side of the fence as the weed and the pea, then dexterously remove the offending vegetation. Coming to our teenager's side of the fence might be:
Learning to text message him so he will communicate with you when he's out with his friends. I've found that teens are more likely to be open in their communication via text when out with friends because no one knows "mom is calling to check on them."
Getting to know your teen's interests – the music he listens to, the movies he watches, and the friends he associates with. You can't always rip these things away without endangering the tender parent-child relationship or pushing him in a rebellious direction. You have to be careful and lovingly steer your child toward appropriate forms of entertainment and talk him through relationships.
Getting your hands dirty by discussing the hard subjects with your children. Neither you nor your child may feel comfortable discussing certain topics, but if you don't open those channels of communication, they will form their perceptions about love, sex and intimacy from the world. Like a noxious weed that weaves itself into the root system of the pea, pornography and violence will attack the core of even the best child's thoughts and self-esteem.
Just as the situation with each of my pea plants and the weeds around them were different, so is each of my children. Each of them has different strengths and weaknesses. Each of them handles correction differently, but all of them need tender loving care.
Like gardening peas, our children need our time and attention. They need us to be loving parents willing to get down in the dirt, get on their side of the fence, take off the gloves and get our hands dirty.
And timing is critical. Listening to the Spirit to know when and how to approach our children can work miracles.
It's been said that emotions buried alive never die. Avoiding your feelings isn't a way of dealing with emotional pain. No amount of "reining in your thoughts" or "thinking positively" will help if you're burying past pain or emotions that haven't been properly addressed. Stuffing them down in your subconscious isn't a solution. And, frankly, neither is talking them to death. They will scream for recognition and resolution in other ways – often physically through illnesses, aches or pains. Other times they will sabotage your quests for success and adversely affect your relationships and career goals.
One of the best ways to address emotional pain is to get to the root of it energetically, give it time to be recognized and accepted, release it, then replace it with something positive. Becky Ross is one of the best at helping people do this. In an hour session, she helped me release burdens and feelings of betrayal that I'd carried for years – previously unable to fully address them and let them go.
At the end of the hour, they were gone, never to return! What's more, I'd learned a technique that I could use for myself over and over as new things cropped up. It's wonderful to know I don't have "put up" with emotional pain or try to muster the willpower to succeed in spite of self-sabotaging blocks. I can delete them, and move on! I highly recommend Becky Ross and EnergeticHeart.com.
This is the fifth video segment in the series I did with Lisa Rae Preston on "Branding Yourself, Becoming Popular and Developing a Fan Base." In it we discuss how to strike a balance between what you love doing and earning money. I'm getting so many positive comments on these videos. My daughter Laurel truly is a creative genius. :)
In this video Lisa Rae Preston and I discuss how to create a
thriving fan base that gobbles up everything you have to offer. It examines the success of romance novelist Marcia Lynn McClure
and her old fashioned romance novels as an example of personality
driven marketing.
Should you start a business if you're having a hard time putting food on the table? Can you build a business while working another job? Is there a way to make instant riches online? Find out the blunt and honest truth in this 3rd video I did with Lisa Rae Preston.
I spent some time worshiping in my garden this morning. I call it "worshiping" because when I'm down on my knees and singing as I dig in the dirt, it feels more like worshiping than work. I put some 
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